been some time since i updated...
wanna know why? or where i've been to??
you wouldn't wanna know...
you wouldn't wanna hear...
arghz...
school term has started...
and i'm dying off...so soonz...second year now...
it's juz so hectic...the course are tough(from wad i see)
there's 2 modules with some 3rd yr students attending...i'm scared...
i wanna pass and move on...arghz...
got so many lousy scheduled-class...4 hrs break in between...
all these nonsense...haiz...
nevertheless...life is still fine whenever i see dar...
i juz feel so blessed to have a boyfriend who dotes on me, who's studying in the same school...
i wouldn't say same course...haha. but still, at least...when i juz feel so lousy, there's always somebody to rely, to depend on...even for a moment...
he went working today while i'm on my way home...decide to call him and see if he's nearby...haha...
ended up accompany him down to bishan...haha...cuz i din wanna leave him travelling alone...i know i'll miss him lots, that's why i stay on...
No more GL training...
now i know why year 2 seniors always go MIA from the GL training...it's juz so tough to juggle my stuffs now...
my classes...my EP...my work...
haha, not to say for relationship, i dun put them in to juggle...
it's my priority manz! heez...am getting crappy and cranky...
*yawnz*
Blogged @ 8:59 PM
always thinking -

ytd was down at sento...overnight out at the beach...
am so glad the weather was perfect the whole day.
haha...
one of the very rare chance to stay overnight w/o a roof over my heads with permission...
heez...
the moon was super bright and round ytd and i had him with him...
am juz so blessed...
walking down the beach...
it was my dream...and it finally came true...
the next thing i want would be to watch sunrise ba, sento situated too south, cannot see...
tmr sch's starting...
freaky...arghz

dar, i love ya. esp on the train today...though was sleeping thru'out...
but i juz love it...every moments of it...miss ya...
Blogged @ 8:36 PM
always thinking -

1st n foremost...

i miss your voice...
i miss your call...
i juz miss you...

i miss mojo...
i miss FOC...
i miss GLs...
you peeps rox...

had a long day today...working manz...
i miss someone out there lotz...
and i wonder if he knew...
i've been getting quite emo over this...
not to the extent of crying...but i teared...i'd teared over this matter...

i lurve you for all i know...
you're the one who made me learn...
who made me lurve...
you've broken down my immunity...
cant live w/o you...

miss ya, honey~
Blogged @ 8:45 PM
always thinking -

this is the 2nd day i drank milo out of the 5 days camp...
this is the 2nd day i slept more than 10 hrs...
this is the 2nd day i feeling tired...
this is the 2nd day i'm missing dar like hell...

i'm suffering from camp withdrawal symptomz....
juz wanna carry on wid the campz.
it's juz so long since i feel happy...

my frenz are all falling sick...
one with throat infection...
one with fever...
one with on/off fever and all...

i hope u peeps are doing well n fine...
i love u peeps...
u guys made me smile, made me cry....
best thing is u peeps made me feel...

i'm no longer a stone or a stone-wannabe...
haha...best of luck peeps.

take care!
Blogged @ 8:59 PM
always thinking -

hey, i'm back from my 5 days campz. haha, super shagged but super-duper happy! hahaha
the first 2 days was prep camp...
first night had our nightwalk tryout...ended late til the next morning after showering...was dying to get some sleep.
2nd night, was told to sleep earlier cuz the 3rd dat, our freshies will be coming in...
lights off was at 11p.m but we only lights off at 12.30a.m. haha...at least got about 6 hrs of slp, not bad lah.
btw i switched room to dar's grp and i nv regretted not staying with my grop cuz i ended up seeing dar so so so rarely the next few days.
3rd day, met my freshies, they're so onz...so smart esp at the telematch. wanted to love them to bits badly but i got feedbacks that they're not doing well...from my seniors during angel and devil... they feedback that my group freshies had no respect for anybody...after thinking thru, i find wad they say is right... but at that moment, i cant bring myself to care more, i was down with headaches. splitting headaches...
at the end of angel and devil, had water-bombing...was too sick then but i went on with it, got drenched...was feeling worse...then had wash-up...waited for my freshies...until i couldnt take it anymore...went up to take my toiletries and had my shower before jason...by then it was about 4a.m...told the GLs, i'll would not turn up for the briefing at 7a.m in the morning...
but at 7a.m, someone asked me to walke up w/o knowing that i was sick... haha...then 7.10, another someone asked to go briefing, was late. still have to tell that someone(i cant remember who)i'm sick again...
so they went on with the whole thing w/o me in the morning...feel bad to leave 20+ of freshies with Jason alone...so i woke up at 9a.m +, settled everything by 10 and joined back my group...
i was there with them, i feel different...sth different from my group...i feel respected...(or is it bcoz i was sick the night b4?) then i found out that my group, lynn, ashton and ben actually talked to my freshies while i was sick..
had performabce night that day, it was great but we realise that we're the only grp that our freshies did not thank us. was okay with it but found out that they felt guilty and it wasnt intentaionally to leave us out.
they decided to do another performance for us, juz the 5 of us the next day.
am feeling really happy with them that day though it was really tiring cuz they had nightwalk till 5+, dar's group at 6+.
5th day, this is the last day, they performed for us...felt really touched by them...
cried alot yesterday...feel so sad that they're leaving us so soonz. every GLs was crying, no one was spared...even the toughest was seen crying. LOL.
going to miss my MOJO babies real lotz...going to miss my GLs life... going to miss everything...

p.s.: dar, get well soonz...i know you're down with fever, with no more voice left, it hurts to see to u cheer more when u got no more voice...it really hurts. really...my heart went crying everytime you speak with that voice...it upsets me, i did not take good care of you. i'm really sorry. i miss you.
Blogged @ 12:05 PM
always thinking -

Your Aura is Blue Your Personality: Your natural warmth and intuition nurtures those around you. You are accepting and always follow your heart. You in Love: Relationships are your top priority, and this includes love. You are most happy when you are serious with someone. Your Career: You need to help others in your job to feel satistifed. You would be a great nurse, psychologist, or counselor. What Color Is Your Aura? Take This Quiz :-) Find the Love of Your Life (and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.

Blogged @ 10:47 AM
always thinking -

byebye net, byebye frenz. will be MIA for at least 5 days.
the next 5 days. will be out for campz in schoolz.
don't miss me.
shall get my old me in the meantime...at least, i wanna know who i am when i get back.
byez.
Blogged @ 11:13 PM
always thinking -

did not go rehearsal bcoz of work today...
am so tired that i need to work too...
hmm...got a slight cut on my finger...
arghz...
Blogged @ 8:49 PM
always thinking -

Blogged @ 6:17 PM
always thinking -

discover what candy you are @ quiz me


Blogged @ 6:15 PM
always thinking -

wonder wadz up with myself today...
stressed?
i'm not even sure of myself...
i'm juz losing control of myself now...

[slightest matter]
i cried over the slightest matter.
i got upset at the slightest matter.
i got jealous at the slightest matter.
i kept quiet at the slightest matter.
i think i'm at fault the slightest matter.

i'm super sorry about wad i'm doing these days.
i sometime really hope that i have someone to lean on besides dar.
i mean i'm juz too dependant on him now...
might not even survive within myself w/o him.
i juz wanna lean on him at times, i just wanna seek some comfort for myself.
i'm feeling lost once again...
it's a weird feeling, it wasnt the same "lost" before i found him.
it's juz different.

eh, had rehearsal today at 10.
wanted to meet him at 8.30, ended up only saw him at 8.50.
am juz contented that we're not late.
juz feel that there isnt any sense of urgency(as in time)...
and it's juz freaking me out...
punctuality was instilled in me ever since i'm born and it was my best strength.
i really dun wanna lose my best...
i'm crying in my heart once again...

did the dancing today...lotz of feeling for it...juz hope it would last.
i miss myself lotz. i'm juz fading off from my fairyland. i dun wanna be a princess. i dun wanna stay in there anymore. everything is fake. everything i see is dark till i saw dar. but now, it's starting to turn dark again but this time not in my journey but in my heart, it's dimming...it's dying...
juz let me crapz. well, thankz.
Blogged @ 5:50 PM
always thinking -

i am sleepyz manz.
i am tired.
i haven been coming home for dinner for quite sometime le.
this is killing me.
tmr training again...

arghz
Blogged @ 10:33 PM
always thinking -

sorry ppl, this post is meant for me to vent my anger...
so if u all think i'm crazy or too hot-tempered, too bad...
cuz i already apologised...

well, was feeling super sick today...
couldnt even bring myself to the idea that i'll be working...
so i called to inform that i'm sick at 8.30 once i woke up.
btw my shift is at 12 lorz.
there's more than enough time to find replacement if u have to.

what the f***.
i'm being nice to called early.
then u say must work, no replacement.
if fever how to work, die on your shift, you responsible ma?
if u are then i go work for you.
answer to my parents, answer to my dar, answer to my frenz.
go lah.
what the h***.
prone to *, so dun mind me...
somemore, you ask me to find replacement myself at that time, it's like so early, ppl sleeping lah.
hang my phone somemore.
i hate ppl to hang my call w/o a byebye.
rude!

to think that i wanna change the opinion of you today...
really regretted it. for having the idea in me.
i'm pure silly to think that you're not that bad.
you idiotic freako.
you lousy.
you rude.
you mean.
you irresponsible...even the timing ytd(see previous post), you're the one who change.
think i dunno?
wad the...

eh, think i feeling better now...arghz
Blogged @ 11:45 AM
always thinking -

was sleepping till so late...juz 2 hrs before 12p.m, which i'm supposed to work...
i'm so tired...i dun feel like going...
was running a lil late then, on the way someone called me to tell me that i'm supposed to start work at 11 instead...
wad the freak, i mean i know who change it but why cant he juz call or ask someone to call to inform me...
was quite hot-tempered lah...but then when i reached there, i juz took my own sweet time, at least it's to calm myself down...
i wasnt late for the 12pm shift...
so ya, continue to work the usual amount of hours i'm suppose to work...

hmm...was feeling abit of headaches while working and now it got worse...
i feel stuffy in my head...
and it feels like something is knocking in my head too...
so awful....and to think that i'm for a camp in juz less than a week...
that ideas hurt me more...
din wanna think i'm sick...
but i juz feel it...
arghz...

i'm going to fend for myself when i'm w/o you
i'm going to learn to take matter into hand myself when i'm w/o you
i'm going to take care of myself when i'm w/o you
i'm going to miss you lots when i'm w/o you.
what's world when i'm w/o you
Blogged @ 8:59 PM
always thinking -

was slacking today, this morning until i received a sms from ashton...
change of timing to get our identity...
feel bad that they change the timing(might be becoz of me lah), so i went along...
rush down to queenstown...
but no one was there yet...
waited for like 20 minutes ba, then ashton called, asked if i reached queensway.
oh manz...i was like "huh, u all not meeting me at station?"
i din know how to go lah...then after some asking of these and that, i headed down to queensway shopping centre...
arghz...the first thing ashton n lynn came was "can we eat sth?"
ermz...well, it's fine with me juz that i'm going to meet dar right after this grp identity thingy...(dun wanna make it too late)
hehe.
then we search for the bandana thingy, was quite cheap compare to outside but couldnt get the design we wanted...
went into tailor shops...then walk and walk and finally found the cloth shop.
my goodness, the uncle was great.
allow us to bargain, then make it even cheaper than our bargain.
wad's more, he cut the cloth for us! haha, nice uncle.
was heading down to bishan to meet dar...but i din know how to go...
poor direction sense...dunno wad bus to take...
felt so so lost....but in the end still reach earlier than him cuz of some reasonable reason. haha.
had dinner with him, walk around J8 for a while...
then came home le, cuz late le, din wanna get into trouble.
haha, i'm a good gal manz.

on the way home, dar was super sweet...
i love ya...
miss that moment lots...(dont think too far)haha
Blogged @ 10:37 PM
always thinking -

ytd had training...
it must have been the most embarassing,
most paiseh,
most lame,
BUT
most amazing part of my life le.
we headed down to orchard for the last CCA training.
guez wad was the most embarassing thingy that i think we did??
ermz first, we are not representing our school so no point asking where we come from lah....
ermz...to ppl who have seen us ytd...
we are(40+ ppl) all wearing our shirt and shorts inside out on the busy street, with our sock on our left hand...
crazy?
but i thought it's actually amazing that we are able to complete the whole mission ytd... cuz after we all change into that weird weird attire, i seriously DO NOT want to leave the restroom...i didnt want to go out... it was so so paiseh...
ran for my life to gather out in the open...(paiseh ar)
but this mission made me feel more daring...
haha.
in the end, became the first grp to win. (tt's all bout training)

ermz...was going home ytd night wid dar....
sth crop up in between the journey(din wanna explain further)
got "angry" with him...
i know he felt it too...
though i kept saying, "no, i'm not angry" (maybe i din say anything but i shook my head ba)
am juz glad to have him with me...cuz usually all these "upset, not happy" things will juz come to a stop between us.
we're fine afterall....

you made me blush alot today.
that move was sudden(to me) but swift.
it was amazing and it juz made me loss of words.
love ya...
Blogged @ 9:21 AM
always thinking -

went out with dar today...
then his frenz joined us at a later time...
think sth happened on the way...(spare the details)

juz had this feeling in mind...
i think everytime i know a couple quarrel, i juz feel for them.
i'm not sure why but it always affect me in some ways.
my heart pains for them, it made me upset.

dar was thinking why i look so upset.
haha, i'm fine and i had a great day with you today!

thank for being my light,
even at my darkest journey, you never once wavered.
that's what i love most.
Blogged @ 9:06 PM
always thinking -

I really do not know what to say about GLs manz...
sometime really wonder if this whole thing sux...
wonder if i'm not suitable for this CCA...
well...the CCA is fine, it's perfect but the people in there are not fantastic.
not good at all...there's alot of disagreement now...
and the people are so so fickle minded...
have they realise that their decision on the voting can affect the whole thing?

the vote did not make ppl feel like "wow, i'm so glad there's so many choices to choose from."
it made ppl like me feel "OMG, what the.? it's juz spoiling alot of dreams of those who put in their effort, who wanna make this whole thing workable."

it's plain crazy from all these things coming up...maybe i shall juz keep my own comment to myself...
shall avoid another backstab...
from ppl who cause this whole thing...

i juz hate this whole thing now...
but it's also impossible to give up this CCA.
It was my dream and it still is.

haiz...peace...the only thing i wanted now...
who stirred the whole thing...
Blogged @ 8:12 PM
always thinking -