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Wednesday, May 11, 2005

wonder wadz up with myself today...
stressed?
i'm not even sure of myself...
i'm juz losing control of myself now...

[slightest matter]
i cried over the slightest matter.
i got upset at the slightest matter.
i got jealous at the slightest matter.
i kept quiet at the slightest matter.
i think i'm at fault the slightest matter.

i'm super sorry about wad i'm doing these days.
i sometime really hope that i have someone to lean on besides dar.
i mean i'm juz too dependant on him now...
might not even survive within myself w/o him.
i juz wanna lean on him at times, i just wanna seek some comfort for myself.
i'm feeling lost once again...
it's a weird feeling, it wasnt the same "lost" before i found him.
it's juz different.

eh, had rehearsal today at 10.
wanted to meet him at 8.30, ended up only saw him at 8.50.
am juz contented that we're not late.
juz feel that there isnt any sense of urgency(as in time)...
and it's juz freaking me out...
punctuality was instilled in me ever since i'm born and it was my best strength.
i really dun wanna lose my best...
i'm crying in my heart once again...

did the dancing today...lotz of feeling for it...juz hope it would last.
i miss myself lotz. i'm juz fading off from my fairyland. i dun wanna be a princess. i dun wanna stay in there anymore. everything is fake. everything i see is dark till i saw dar. but now, it's starting to turn dark again but this time not in my journey but in my heart, it's dimming...it's dying...
juz let me crapz. well, thankz.

Blogged @ 5:50 PM
always thinking -