juz love all the moments i spent with you...
couldnt expect more le.
u did your best in giving me all ur free time...
u missed ur dinner with those good frenz all bcoz of accompanying me home.
how could i not love you more.
hahaha...

well, hectic shedule nowadays...
really...
am so tired and sick of lect....arghz
Blogged @ 9:05 PM
always thinking -

luv ya, honey.

oh by the way, my half-a-crew-manger is coming back!!
i miss him that much...
yupz...
haha.
that's it...hehe
Blogged @ 8:28 PM
always thinking -

had a long day ytd...
wasnt in the best mood in the day either...
was juz tired ba...

hmm...but wadever it is, ya, i feel that i think too much le...
everything's fine and thanks to all frenz who are concern abt this...
we're fine, perfectly fine...
=p

miss ya, dar
Blogged @ 11:01 AM
always thinking -

had class from 8 - 9.30 today...
met sheryl and gang together to go SIM.
he's there again...
i wonder why...hmm...

wadever it is, i had 4hrs of breaks today, so quite slacky lah...
but then when lynn went off for class...then sheryl...
i was feeling alone again...went to the pre-booked project room....
only to see sakeenah and her fren...but they left so soon...like in 10 minutes after i saw them...
was all alone in the big room...felt lonely, damn lonely....decided not to use the room anymore, maybe the room could be of better use to someone doing proj ba...
walked alone all the way to blk 80...it's so quiet...really...
i feel lyke crying but ppl will juz think i'm silly to cry for no reason...
then went to lab, am glad that my classmates (some) were in there...

dar promise to wait till 4.30...but classes for me is so draggy...
i finished at 4.20 but only manage to rush off at 4.40...
called to find out that he juz went out of the school....
but then he waited for me at the next bus stop partially cuz of chen hwee ba...
all thanks to him, i get to see dar.
haiz...
gonna be a long weekends for me again...
and this time i know what to do inorder not to miss him that badly...
i'm returning back to myself...
i'm going to pack all my time, doing tons of things...
juz wanna be so busy that i wouldnt have the time to think of anything...

it's only when i stop, did i realise how impt you're to me.
it's only when i think, did i realise i'm that vulnerable.
it's only when you're around, did i find myself secure and safe from everything.
dar, you're everything to me. do not feel bad. you nv owe me anything. never.
Blogged @ 8:52 PM
always thinking -

morning class on tuesday at 8...
had 4 hrs of breaks and i head off to town with shifu and somebody. =x
bought sth. haha. still a secret now. haha. oops.
then ended class at 4+, went to library to meet the usual gang of frenz before my jap.
had dinner with suraj. (^^,)
after class ended, dar accompany me home. sweetz.

wednesday, thought i'll be having lunch with you, but only to find out that u're rushing thru those endless reports...am juz glad that i still have my dear dear and shifu for lunch.
then again, knew u'll be meeting ur frenz after class...but still wanna see u badly...
ended up accompanying u down to dhoby ghaut...took me 1 1/2hr to get home from clementi.
haha. but i still have u for a moment...

now, today...
had a test this morning...and i thought i'll meet u this morning to school...
but u weren't feeling well, called me and i had to go NP alone...
glad to bump into atirah today...1st time. our road crosses coincidentally...haha
then i cant seem to reach u le, u juz disappear again...
u said u'll try to meet me for lunch if u have the time...
i took it that u'll have time for me to have lunch...delay my time for lunch cuz wanna see u badly...
was in the library...photocopying sth and i saw that gang of peeps...
met somebody, haha, then the few of us went for lunch at 1+.
though i still have the hope i'll meet u.
but i was wrong again...u were in class...
had my 6hrs break so decided to follow pam they all go sports hall, see them play badminton...
then i went back to class with a fren accompanying me. heez.
saw bernard and fiona, thought i might happen to bump into you but no, you're still in the lab then...
couldnt concentrate further...was like drifting on, and i got angry with myself...fell into the moody mood againz.
plus that stupid class was damn noisy today...dont know wadz up...juz wanna make them shut up and do their work, the lecturer was talking and teaching while the bunch of ppl juz chat louder and louder...
atirah and me, i suppose got real fed-up at the noise level...i think i'm more affected by it...
juz feel so lousy...
i was in class...
but i so badly wanted to see ur sms-es...
i dont care if it disturbs me in class or not,
cuz each sms-es from you juz brighten up my day, my mood...
BUT i did not received any...am so dissappointed...went home quietly, w/o telling u...which wasnt me...
found out that u actually waited for me til 5.30...while my class ended at 5.45...
why cant u tell me that u're waiting for me?
at least i will know you bother to care about me...
at least i wont feel that moody...

to the somebody, my frenz commented that u look cute.
you seems sweet too...
NO special meaning, it's juz a comment.
i'm still occupied and lost in my own world...

been more than 27 hrs since i saw you
been more than 27 hrs since i heard ur voice
been missing u all the while
been praying that u had a great day everyday.
juz wanna see u badly...
it's juz so hard...
Blogged @ 9:30 PM
always thinking -

whee...went out today...
eh, actually was suppose to go school today to hand in lab report and go home.
but find it dumb to do so.
so went to sch, meet sakeenah.
cuz she wanna see my report. haha.
then we handed in together.
meet dar @ JE stn, then eat lunch together.
watch premonition wid him + adelyn.
heez, was in jap language.
1st time i watch movie in jap manz, find it quite cool cuz i manage to understand a big part of it, but of cuz with some help from the subtitle. hehe
then dar took his dinner, while sheryl made her way down to meet us though we had to leave when she came cuz dar was late for work by then.
hahaha, then sent him off to bishan.

love every moments i'm with you.
every.
loving you always.
miss ya, honey
Blogged @ 9:25 PM
always thinking -

wow...
went on a shopping spree today...
spent near $70 for the whole of today...
haha...must be crazy.

bought my 1st pure milk shirt!
bought my 1st new world order shirt!
bought my ice lemon tee shirt!

wow...gonna be crazy...
heez...went town with wee fen and ah gal!
been a long long time since we met up...
then we went down to J8 where we bought more things.
coincidentally, dar was having his break...
met him and walk round.
am so glad to see you, it wasnt really planned though i know you'll be there.
and i know you'll be here too...in my heart

went home after that, cant imagine if my dad did not ask me home earlier, how much more will i be spending...
been some time since i really shop too...
juz wanna pamper myself today, tt's why bought myself things i've nv bought before...
i only dreamt of owning them and now, finally...haha.

well, that's all.
miss ya, honey
Blogged @ 8:31 PM
always thinking -

had class today at 8 a.m.
had a lecture b4 test...wasnt paying attention to the lecture...
was juz dying to get my facts for the tests...
am glad that the paper wasnt too tough or should i say i did study abit lah. haha
went to the library, did abit of studying...abit.
then went off to meet lynn...
was raining so heavily, decided to take the very long sheltered routes.
haha...then called lynn up...on the way, someone tapped me...
was like huh? turn back and gosh...was alvin...wad a day, wad a time.
so, went and meet lynn together...
then went back to library after lunch, dar came over cuz his lecturer on m.c.
went off to class together, he waited for me to end my prac, aw~sweet manz.
haha...accompanied him to bishan, alight and did a lil shopping... a lil.
then came back home...
am juz glad that i took my off for tmr, gonna meet wee fen and my ah gal!
yay...PPG roxz. hahaha...
crapppy le.


been getting sweeter...
juz love every moment we're together now...
maybe i should have put this thinking into myself eversince we're together.
at least, i feel that both of us are finally genuine-ly happy...

am contented
Blogged @ 9:30 PM
always thinking -

i dont know wad to say now...
loss of words for my dar...

you're real sweet...
really.
love ya.
Blogged @ 7:30 PM
always thinking -

i dunno wad to say...
it's like wad-the-hell-am-i-feeling-like-that...
i hate myself more than ever...
i hate liar...i've been lying to myself that i finally started to feel guilty to myself.
funny,right? haiz...
damn depressing...pardon my language...might juz end up with all these in my current post...
arghz...saw him at lunch and that's it...
there's too many thing to say...but i din wanna blog about it le...
depressing stuffs...juz wanna forget all about it...
act blur, act innocent...
i'm juz going to be good now...
everything on the dot le...
no more dragging of these and thats...
so in the meantime, if i gave any f***-up face, i'm sorry and all i can say is, it's juz too bad, your luck to bump into me now.
anybody asking me out...(or maybe no one will), no more night outings in the meantime...
weekdays, appointment 3days beforehand(school days).
weekends, one and a half week roughly, 10 days in advance.
special cases like my shifu, my dear dear, 10 minutes in advance if i'm available at that moment.

feel crappy now...
wanna juz fall into somebody's arm and cry all over again but he wasnt here...
wanna make somebody feel that i care but i'm hurt myself too...
wanna do lots of things but i got not much chance to...
wanna be with somebody but my timing sux...
wanna run away from reality but it's not the best method...
wanna hurt myself mentally...but it's called silly...

i'm juz not myself...let me juz go into the unreal fairyland...
juz let me be a kid...for once...
let me cry mentally...for another time...

if u bother to care, a short sms would have made me feel better...
i'm not asking much...
i juz want a lil more attention, a lil more communication...
or maybe i'm juz someone who's too depending on people...
oh well...maybe, perhaps...
i might not be the gal u wanted me to be...
perhaps...i'm juz too selfish to love you this much...
perhaps, i'm juz someone whom no one understands...
not even myself...

dar, i miss you....but what can i do?
nothing.
Blogged @ 6:11 PM
always thinking -

dar... i really dunno how u guess wad i'm feeling now....
my heart really went crying each time i know you're going to leave me soon...
for work or for appointment...
i feel guily each time i tried to tie you down deep in my heart.
each time i failed too...juz went crying for no heck reasons...
am sorry if i made you feel bad these days... sorry...

had an appointment this morning...IS I&E...
hmm...everything was alright ba...so far so good...

today was our 99th day together...went pizza hut and had a lil celebration...
love you to bits.
miss ya lotz...juz 45 minutes since you're gone...
my life juz went dead...blackout... lights off...
Blogged @ 4:59 PM
always thinking -

am so tired today...
cant explain why...
there isnt much crowd today.
juz some sudden influx of ppl then gone...

am wondering if we're still meeting up and then
dar called... plus i juz ended my shift.
juz cant deny the fact that our frequency are so good.
haha...
love him to bits.

juz wanna see you tmr, even if it's a for moment...it'll be eternity to me.
it'll be my fairyland...i juz wanna live in there.
contented and safe.
worry-less and carefree...
nth to think of...
might as well say i wanna be a peter pan who live in fairyland.
so childish but it really represent wad i wanted...aw~
nitez...
Blogged @ 10:08 PM
always thinking -

been some time since i posted.
juz too hectic these days...
it's juz killing me off... all my time...
all my freedom...
arghz...
the only place i recognise now and getting familiar with must be the library...
booking the rooms at every free slots we have...
coop in there...
went out, grab books...and wad?
study...
wad the freak...
i dun wanna be a nerd, i dun wanna study till this extent...
but still...year two is a killer...
haha...
eh, wanted to quit my job. had this idea some time back already...
but sth made me change my mind once again...
if i ever quit this job, i'll make sure i'll let my beloved area manager know that he's the one that made me change my mind each time i wanna quit...
all the times, i think he also sense that this might be the only way i'm stuck in there too...
argh...haha. but it's still my life...

thinking of getting into ambassador real much these days.
thinking about this coming tuesday too...
i dun care if there's anything special on tueday cuz in my heart, it'll be special enough to keep me alive for the long day i'll be having...

honey, i havent seen you for the second day today ...and i miss ya real lotz.
*hugs*
Blogged @ 9:33 PM
always thinking -

well...today is a special date...
cuz it's me and my dar's 3rd month anniversary...
honey, love ya lots.

cried juz now...am feeling damn low...
real lousy...but am glad that u juz let me cried...
u lent me your shoulders...
made me listen...
made me smile...

*hugs n kisses*

am alright now...should be
juz not feeling well, that's all...
at least i think i'm not fine...blind in one eye...
haha...eh, exaggerating...
it's juz blur lah...
nitez, readers...
*yawnz*
Blogged @ 10:40 PM
always thinking -

am glad to have u today...though it's only 5+ hr.
haha, but it still meant sth to me.

am feeling sick now...
diahorrea plus headache...
argh...it's killing me...
Blogged @ 8:54 PM
always thinking -

i feel that i'm buried under my pile of homeworks...
year two is so hectic though my GL training has ended as a GL... hmm...
wanted to call dar ytd and what the heck...i juz dun have the time...i tried...
and when i tried, he din even pick up or replied...
perhaps he's tired...one point to note... ya...
almost getting emo again...am juz glad he found the perfect timing to sms me...
hmm...miss miss...

working today wasnt too good either...the usual sunday is slacky, not much crowd, not much orders...
but then, argh...today was so opposite...the place was packed...totally...
am so tired...


juz wishing you're here...
Blogged @ 8:47 PM
always thinking -

Romantic Compatibility
Provided by Astrology.com

Cancer & Leo
When Cancer and Leo make a love match, they understand and know how to satisfy basic emotional needs within one another. Both these Signs require dedication and tender, loving care, but while Cancer seeks stability and emotional harmony, Leo craves heartfelt compliments and sincere admiration. Both are strongly loyal, even to the point of possessiveness, Cancer for safety's sake, Leo for the sake of their self-confidence. They are also both committed to a enduring, rewarding connection. Since their desires are similar, a Cancer and a Leo may fill very important voids in each other's lives.
Both Leo and Cancer prefer comfort and security, and they prefer both on a grand scale. Cancer and Leo enjoy a lovely home and a close-knit family. Leo provides the flair and the passion, and Cancer brings to the home a sensitive but intense instinct to nurture. Leo is the bigger and bolder and more vivid of this couple, the picture of majesty and status. Because both Signs are so strong-minded, these two must always work attentively to understand and accept one another.
The intense and emotional Moon (Emotion) rules Cancer, while the bright, bold Sun (the Self) rules Leo. The Sun is about ego and self, radiating warmth and light, and vibrant Leo indeed radiates this kind of energy and enthusiasm. The Moon concerns itself with nurturing, with creating and maintaining emotional connections. This combination of masculine and feminine energy is why the Sun and the Moon adore and sustain one another other as they do. The Sun represents life, and The Moon cultivation and growth; as long as they are mindful of their inherent differences, their combination can be a positive one.
Cancer is a Water Sign, and Leo is a Fire Sign. Leo strives with an ardent energy toward praise and appreciation, while Cancer yearns more for security and stability. Both Signs like to take charge, but they come at a leadership role from very different directions. No small number of disputes can rise from this difference. As long as Cancer and Leo never take for granted their relationship, as long as they reassure one another in practical and romantic ways that this relationship is important to both of them, they can usually find a happy medium.
Cancer is a Cardinal Sign, and Leo is a Fixed Sign. Under stress, Leo becomes opinionated and stubborn, and Cancer can act as a subtle manipulative force. Cancer's the persistent initiator of shared plans, and Leo channels their energies and works doggedly to move plans to completion. If given the choice, the Crab would choose a calm and stable life, having no need for glamour or acclaim. Leo, on the other hand, loves to shake things up and embraces the unexpected and the novel. Though a Leo and a Cancer may commit emotionally to a relationship, each of them can continue to follow their natural instincts AND devote themselves thoroughly and completely to one another. If, however, they haven't made their love intentions clear to one another, they may find themselves on a never-ending emotional roller coaster ride. Cancer, hiding behind that innocent shell of theirs, can be the more quietly controlling of this pair and might -- to a degree -- manipulate their Leo loved one when it seems practical to do so.
What's the best aspect of the Cancer-Leo relationship? Their mutual commitment to a sincere relationship. Together this pair can share a supportive, positive and healthy vibe. People see them as a winning combination, and their mutual desire for a secure, loving relationship makes them strive for harmony.


i juz wish that all these are true...i've juz read them... been fantasizing these days...hmm...
Blogged @ 9:49 PM
always thinking -

eh,our department has been using blk 80 area for the past 2 weeks since school starts...
and that's where we had our FOC nightwalk ...
where some ppl saw those "things".
and guess what happen today??
Atirah and i were in the toilet today before prac starts when there's no other ppl in there...and then we heard something shocking...one of the cubicles just flushed. and somemore it is not that type of auto flush.sickening, we look at each other then hold each other and juz ran out like hell... what the...
i'm freaking scared...heart still beating twice the spped from the normal...
am still scared...
after class, went to the other toilet ...but then..i'm still scared...got Atirah to speed up and off we go...
aw...how i wish my dar is there...at least i wont be this scared...
limps going weak manz...

saw ur sms-es the first thing in the morning...
it juz made me smile and glow..
the sweetest sms i've received till now...
miss ya badly...
Blogged @ 9:17 PM
always thinking -

argh..am so tired...this is freaking me out...
hmm, monday had my IS class...was super sianz when i know i got posted to a class made up of 2 courses plus an extra me. humph...

then ytd, had my jap class...well not bad ba... think i'm going to score for my kanji test! heez...dar waited for me ytd...then after class, found out that sheryl, suraj and kelvin was there too... it got draggy till nearly nine before we reached the bus stop...*yawnz* but still, i had a great day ytd cuz at least dar was with me...

today, wed...half-day class...had lunch with the CE ppl, including dar at canteen 4. eh, ate my fav food today...then he sent me to class. that's it. i didnt get to see him straight after 12 sharp.
went home with Atirah till JE, then i'm alone thru out though i still got adelyn's sms-es to accompany me but i've got nth else... haiz...
dunno wad to say now, shouldnt complain more now...

shall learn to rely on myself...
be independant...
stop being senstive...
no more being emotional...
stop keeping things to myself...
might as well say, i wanna stop being a canceranian...which seems impossible...
cuz the above factors make me a canceranian...

humph... =x

by the way, am so glad i've found sth i lost a week ago...
i think someone is watching over me...
it must be...
haha
Blogged @ 8:21 PM
always thinking -