- My Life Story ;

Monday, October 30, 2006

how much is much?
would everything turn out fine?
i'm miss you, but i know that wont enough

my heart hurts, so badly
but could you feel it?
i've never felt like that before..
never...
only for the boy i loves
and what's happening now??

it's jus an awful day, awful time
am having runs to the toilet
am so sick
maybe thinking of what you mention
"when you're so upset, you'll jus fell sick"
to add on, maybe when i'm upset, i'll feel so sick about everything

nothing is meaningful when i'm so sick, i jus wanna hear from you
really, nothing would be better than that
i miss you

Do you still feel the same way as i feel??

Blogged @ 12:24 PM
always thinking -

Friday, October 27, 2006

i'm dead tired.
really.
saturday gonna be here tmr.
yes!
Another week's gone.

anyway recalled some words from a bus driver
"Don't get too close with your supervisors, when the day come for you to leave, it wont be bearable for you"
manz...

My heart kept missing you, wanting to see you, darling.
I miss you.

Blogged @ 9:08 PM
always thinking -

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

did pruning...
for almost the whole day till it rained..
manz...
my thumb hurts
must be those pricky thorns the plants carry...
==================
darling, i miss you so much

Blogged @ 9:09 PM
always thinking -

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Firstly, greetly to all my friends,
Selamat Hari Raya!
=) hope u peeps have fun!!
haha
=======================

oh well...
sometimes I wonder if you're out to poke fun at me,
make me mad,
thinking of everything we have had.
I hate that thoughts, seriously.
"Have you ever understand me?"
each time u said that, do u know how much it hurts me?
how much it etches into my very heart?
how much scarring hev you done?
i'm not out to point finger at whoever,
but neither do i want to go around just to humour people...
====================
have you tried understanding me?
have you ever had the thoughts i'm a selfish, easily-jealous freak
i sure hope you do
maybe one day u will
rid me for the reason
i'll learn on my own, it's ok
take care, have fun.

Blogged @ 1:19 PM
always thinking -

Saturday, October 21, 2006

Run away, you never knew me
chase away, I'm living in fear
each night, cry myself to sleep
nightmares come and go,
sometimes i wonder if it'll turn up true the next morning i wake up
leave me if you had to
i could live alone and i will if i have to
goodbye, nightmares

Blogged @ 12:30 PM
always thinking -

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

To: Anonymous, the one who tagged

cyber space tagging seems to be good for u, keeping ur identity unknown to others.
but it's o'right, cuz anonymous, wad u tagged did struck me before. but i know what i am doing and am perfectly well to think of it myself. Thanks for the concern but i don't think u need to know the answer.
=======================

next up, was attached to another supervisor today.
i have just taken up the thoughts to believe what the others said, and told me about you.
cuz i'm seeing it and going thru it now.
jus hope u change
=======================

honey, i miss you so so much.

Blogged @ 8:42 PM
always thinking -

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

hmmm...went to kusu island today!
it's so so fun, to see all the turtle, tortise and terrapins.
muahaha... really, they're so cute, esp the sea turtle.
it's so huge and i was thinking of sitting on it and going for a dive.
heez....
amazing. i'm heading there tmr again!
wheee...

anyway, my supervisor's birthday today.
saw her face lit up when there's cake, song, fruits and card.
simple but happy.
she's like a child, sometimes. haha

on the bad side,
superman's friend called me, another friend i would say
thought it was a wrong number so told the person off for 3 times.
can u believe this?!!
should have knew wrong caller wouldnt have called 3 times...
and over the speaker, i heard superman's voice...
and now it made me sick, cuz i din want to believe that he pass my number to his friends...
i dun wanna see him ever again, i hope.
and if i do, i'll make sure i'll tell him to stop all the nonsense...

i'm a short-tempered girl.
and i dun like the way he's acting, fancy passing my number.
jus hoping ur finger get well soon and stop disturbing me.
really, stop...

Blogged @ 9:32 PM
always thinking -

Sunday, October 15, 2006

superman called me a few days ago
said he's on MC for a week
but i was working so i din talk long either

a day after that, my supervisor mention that superman cut his finger while doing some work or sth...
i was really shocked by the news, seriously,
the 1st thought that ran thru my mind was,
is he alright? was his finger still intact?
the next thought was,
why was i so cold-blooded to him when he talked to me over the phone?
was i really out to chase him away, shut him out of my life?
or was i concern that ppl seem to view us as something weird when we're close?
perhaps, it's more of, I'm attached and i should draw a line between u and me.
we're friends, of cuz.
and i do care over u more than any stranger, i do like the concern that u called and checked if i'm alright at work.
i really appreciate the friendship between us, it's more than amazing and i'll treasure it.
*bless my superman*
i do miss you
================
went to vivo city ytd, the shopping centre ia amazingly huge
and i havent walk thru all of them
haha
anyway, saw many landscaping work over there.
landscaping seems to go in the right direction as of now, it's so much being appreciated nowadays. it's like everywhere now.

Honey, i miss you lots.

Blogged @ 12:01 PM
always thinking -

Friday, October 13, 2006

had a chat wif "C" ytd, over msn...
seems like we're of the same kind
couldnt understand why other cant take the way we are
and yet i have to say C and I are amazingly having the same thinking
we jus cant help being nice to ppl and then ended up being blamed and wronged over being nice
haiz...
oh well....

saturday tmr, looking forward once again
haha, this time round, i'm so gonna meet dearie.
yay!!

Blogged @ 8:46 PM
always thinking -

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

ok...so after a conversation with my dearest..
perhaps...
i was being nice with a motive
perhaps...
i was wad he mention, being flirty with words
perhaps,
in my mindset, it was still
"I'm young, so i could say and do things like this, like that"
perhaps, maybe it was

Blogged @ 9:57 PM
always thinking -

i lurve the environment i'm in.
the aunties, the workers, the supervisors...

maybe sometimes, aunties nagged at me.
the workers disturb me more than i could take it
the supervisors screaming for work to be done
but i do lurve them

it's jus so fun to be an intern there
everyday.

and btw, superman stopped calling me...
i'm feeling terribly sorry...
hmm for wad reason, i don't know

all i learnt is that i can choose to like him but never could "love" exist between me and him
i come to realise, it does me no good to treat them super nice, there's always the thinking of man that sometimes goes so wrong

Blogged @ 9:01 PM
always thinking -

Monday, October 09, 2006

freaky
i shall stop treating them nice
i will try not to get involved in another awkward situation

for goodness sake, i wish all the kajiao-ing to be kept at the minimum now
my life is currently half tumbling upside down
with the mess going on,
calls coming in, kajiao-ing ongoing...i's so gonna blow up one day and goes mad

freaky

Blogged @ 9:36 PM
always thinking -

Sunday, October 08, 2006

went out last night wif dearie...
been so long since we caught a movie
watched World Trade Centre, pretty nice movie...
showing 9/11 episode...

hoping today will be a better day for everyone
and please keep the haze out...pretty ok now..

Blogged @ 11:59 AM
always thinking -

Friday, October 06, 2006

it's getting funnier..
thought he was angry cuz he left me a msg tt he wont ever disturb me again...
but he called me ytd night, i din picked up, was going to slp, din bother to pick up. haha..
then this morning, he called again, was getting ready to go out, so din get to pick up either...
returned his call after i'm out...
but i seriously dunno wad's he trying to tell me...
i could only get like 20% of wad's he saying...

then jus now he called me again...
manz...sometimes i think i treated him too good...
way too good between a junior "supervisor" and a worker...

it's getting out of hand
the only positive thing i had in mind is his voice...
always happy go lucky...
besides that, nth else...it's no longer "yes! he called"
it's now more of "oh no, i wouldnt understand a single thing again"

can somebody jus bring me out of the situation???
freak...

Blogged @ 8:37 PM
always thinking -

Thursday, October 05, 2006

so, he did not turned up today..
and nv will he...i guess...
maybe it's really the language barrier...
we could have been kawan..
but we nv did...and nv will we..
he'd left...with a msg

btw, thanks atirah for the translation

he will nv msg me, nor contact me again
he did talk to me on the phone today..
called me a few times..

pretty upset now...

bye bye superman, i'll miss you
do take care

Blogged @ 8:43 PM
always thinking -

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

people come, people go.
some people bring joy and laughter wherever they go,
and when they leave, they only leave with silent goodbyes and nothing else
so my fav worker left me.
he came and made an impact during my internship,
and now he left me only with his phone number.
a number that i wont get to call...
a number tt speaks a different language over the speaker...
a number tt the listener wont understand my english, my melayu
i think i'm gonna miss him, pretty badly.
he did mention abt coming back the day after tmr....but i dunno if i heard correctly cuz he was using this funny language(mixture of this and that) so i'm not sure either...

anyway, another worker of mine is getting crazier each day
send us laughing laughing more and more each day
good gracious...
my workplace is bursting full of fun everyday

Blogged @ 8:50 PM
always thinking -

Monday, October 02, 2006

will anyone remember me when one day,
i turn numbed to the surrounding
became silent and do everything i was told to do?

I wished people keep their temper in check
well, i did kept mine in check
i did remember not to flared up even when i'm boiling hot inside
i knew i did show some awful faces, but i nv did scream at anyone in the face b4
so pissed off at time when some people jus do it to me.
stay cool, for god sake

Blogged @ 8:40 PM
always thinking -

Sunday, October 01, 2006

manz...i'm bored.
really...
i wished i could take half a day of working leave
juz half a day on a weekday

surrendering...

Blogged @ 11:11 AM
always thinking -