- My Life Story ;

Tuesday, July 31, 2007

so i've left my company.

cant believe they used me till the end.
they've been using me.
but well, whatever.
at least i see the true colours before i left.

tmr will be a brand new chapter.
wishing for the best.
=)

Blogged @ 9:09 PM
always thinking -

Monday, July 30, 2007

still struggling with myself.

couldnt help feeling, u know that slightest tinge of sadness.
haiz.
but come to think of it, why feel like this?
they never really treated u good enough for me to feel like that.

funny.
and to think i'm going to work in another place soon.
abt 37 hours to my new family.

Blogged @ 7:20 PM
always thinking -

Sunday, July 29, 2007

went out ytd with darling.
catch a movie.
horror...
freaks. still scares me now.
even, he's scared. haha. his expression tells.
guess next time, no more horror movies.
haha.

came back at 1+ and only slept at abt 2+, tried and finish up my HP.
but oh well, i guess i'm too sleepy to finish the 40+ pages.
heehee.

but yes, i've finish it today.
hurray!
and still, i'm thinking of wed, coming wed.
that new environment, the people.

dependent?!
on myself, i have to.

it's funny what people thinks,
how they think.
up till now, i still have no ideas what is going thru their minds.

well, xStitchx time to think and settle your problems

Blogged @ 2:34 PM
always thinking -

Saturday, July 28, 2007

havent had a break eversince i submitted my resignation letter.
funny.
although the time is like now mine but still, i felt committed to it.
i felt i have to do them up by deadline, promptly.

didnt get the rest i wanted.
by now more of my friends or colleagues would have known i'm leaving.
my friends would have known where i'm harding to next.

my contract, signed.
things are happening so fast.
tendered, got it.
unbelieveable.

gaming

Blogged @ 3:22 PM
always thinking -

Friday, July 27, 2007

angels arent humans
they dont do things normally.
no one noticed them until things are done.

i got so upset ytd morning, but by evening everything changed.
and well, i love angels.
haha.

went off before lunch hours to settle some stuffs but ended up went back late.
hmmm... got my reasons though.

2 1/2 more days of hell.
let's see if anything better is longing to embrace me after that.
more to go, journey's still long.

Blogged @ 7:53 PM
always thinking -

Thursday, July 26, 2007

great news for me.
haha.
less than 24 hrs.
i went for a interview ytd.
not many knew, but now maybe more should know.
haha. i've got it.

my goodness.
i'm still shaking with excitement and joy now.
lovely.
thought after i tendered, i'll probably ended up having long vacation.
haha.

well, so angel's still with me.
cant help wanting to hear your voice.

oh, and really... i better bring mickey back.

stopping and thinking again

lifetime warranty

Blogged @ 7:46 PM
always thinking -

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

i guess i couldnt say much.
things arent too good.
supposedly, my lovely guardian angel went on leave w/o telling me.
things are going haywired.

i still believe in angels more than anythings.
arghz.
wish i could dive behind a wall now.
aint going to do anything le.
humph.

surrendering, white flag.

and sickening, someone tried to threaten darling.
if anyone dared tried again, watch out.
i'll step in this time, and i wont be as merciful as darling.

Blogged @ 9:06 PM
always thinking -

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

ok, so i din have time to blog ytd.
was trying to figure out some stuff.
and yes, i'm leaving my current company.
well, time for a break, i guess.

might do me good, i suppose.
everywhere people go, there's always talk.
now, i just have to leave quietly.
tendered, and let's see what's in for me tmr.
haiz.

tonight might have loads to think again.
something so urgent that i have to leave earlier tmr.
arghz.
cant help it.

let's see how then i might blog more.
haha

Blogged @ 9:08 PM
always thinking -

Sunday, July 22, 2007

ok, so i got my HP book finally after my work ytd.
came home had lunch and i thot i'll be reading it all the way.
but haha, tireness got the better out of me.
i fell asleep at 4+, ended only waking up at 6+.
manz.
then i couldnt read much, was helping daddy with his work.

then today, hanged out with melano, jeremy and adelyn.
haha.
bowling, craps, scandals, craps, take pic then came home.
heehee.

nice loads, bowling pretty ok today.
2 rounds, 98 and 100 for 2 games.
=)
gave us the ideas for hlm outing.
at least for my juniors.
=)

"maybe you're not the right one for me"
that hurts, really.
i've got my reason and u said it's my excuse.
i wanna know u badly but it only always set me back more.
i called to talk ended up arguing over phone.
and when we try and meet, ended up in quarrels.
"maybe you're not the right one for me"
i wished it's a prank, i wished u can take it back.
that sentence hurts. really...

you're not the right one for me....
nice one

Blogged @ 9:29 PM
always thinking -

Friday, July 20, 2007

ok, was out today in the morning.
trying to rush things out.
but well, not so smooth.

still cant forget all the shits ytd.
humph.
but still, what to do.
life goes on.

what's mine is mine, what's not meant to be mine, it's not.

had lunch alone.
haha.
sad lah.
thanks to them.

been thru lots, mind aint stopping.
every sec.
the good, the bad.
my life, my work.

Blogged @ 8:06 PM
always thinking -

Thursday, July 19, 2007

was blogging in the office this morning, haevy rain.
0930hrs. here goes.

and so i had my 20th birthday on this Earth ytd.
went out early hoping to meet darling earlier.
but well, usual character i guess.
late again.

i'm so upset initially but thinking back, brother told me before.
i love him cuz of who he is.
his lateness represent him, i suppose.
let and forget.
i only met him abt 1 hrs after the appointed time.
but seeing him is good.
esp with his looks, i cant help melting like that.
funny.
haha.

so he bought me a lovely watch.
wrapped with tons of wrapping papers.
haha, cute la.
even the uncle sitting in the train keeps looking at what on earth is the prezzie that is so wrapped up filled with time and love.
=)
thanks sweetie.

had a rather late lunch in vivo at a cafe, nice place.
then went off for my long awaited movie after tt.
but haiz, disappointed with the show actually.
the book's nicer.
lots nicer.
=)

met seah and jes after i went to st. james for a lil while
gosh, i miss jes la.
then, meet dar's frenz.
they bought me cakes.
lovely, told me they bought but i know, darling asked them to help buy on behalf for him.
sweet

head back to st. james with them after that.clubbing...
hmm...reached home only at midnight.
my 20th was spent like a wink.
time flies.

thanks to all well wishers, i lurve u peeps.
and yes, to the lady i was upset with ytd initally.
everything's fine now, i suppose and i hope.

angels, i must have been blessed.
angels, i shall repay u the way u treat me.
by sharing my love, care and concernwith my lovely frenz who made me who i am.

darling, i lurve u more and more each day.
it's back.

ok so that wad i blogged in the morning

now afternoon, lunch time.
thanks uncles, spoil my lunch.

ok, so after all those whatever rain.
my workers decided not to work.
at all.
thanks. gt me into some nice trouble.

then my boss came back.
gave me some words of advices as well as wisdom.
thanks, made me feel like shit.

then my driving, i couldnt concentrate at all.
kept forgetting this and that.
thanks, the instructor who always lurve going toilet during class time.

then i thought darling's off early today.
cool. would be nice to meet him for a while.
thanks, now i really dunno what we are now.

momo, i hate myself.
i must have asked too much, i guess.
angels decide that it's enough.
my 20th is ytd, not today.
they've cut short my day to a mere 48hrs of changes thats good.
today's aint nice.

and now, i believe tmr sux too.
really.
i asked for too much.
angels, u may take what u want away from me now.
best is i can re-suffer, re-learn everything.

thanks, angels
really.

i hate u guys.

Blogged @ 9:41 PM
always thinking -

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

another day out till afternoon.
thought what a good way to end my 19th year old.
i was so wrong, all the calls, complaints and all only decides to come in at 4+ when i'm going to get off from the workplace for my driving.

well, i did handled them.
i tried to. and one of which still gives me the kick now.
the talkative, thought-he-knows-it-all Sinagpore worker got the hell from me.
he tried complaining things to me, at the same time requesting me to get sth done asap.
does he know who he is??!

bloody hell...
he got ticked off, at the same time, my colleague told me.
"you're his superior. he cannot request u to do anything. u may ask him to shut up, or get out if u want"
ok, but i didnt.
there's still no need for that.

had a quick break before going to the driving centre.
the stimulator was alright.
arcade kind, but not as fun as i thought it'll be.

each step i took comes with planning, comes with decision.
human makes mistake at times, tends to overlook things.
but still, what's done has been done. it's still a step to what i want.
it's just that not the right step, half a step maybe or 2 steps instead of 1.
learn from it and move off.
stop thinking, xstitchx.
there's no time for u to stand there and think now.

learn to love yourself before u love others.
learn to love yourself before u try and make others love you.
you are who you are.
you dont have to act, neither should one pretend.

i'm thinking, tmr will be my 20th.
maybe these 3 days are my days.
they're special.
today's my 19th, tmr's my turning 20th, and thurs i'm confirmed 20th.
72 hrs.
i'm left with slightly more than 50hrs now.

Blogged @ 9:01 PM
always thinking -

Monday, July 16, 2007

long day today.
was out the whole day.
beats than staying indoor and getting scoldings for nth.
=)

attended a meeting today and omg...
that man...
ok, he's not handsome, but his tone and all...
like so gentleman, i cant help noticing such guys lorz.
as in there's still gentlemen around my circle in singapore.
haha.

thanks for everything.
angels are nice, they're always nice.
sending me friends, love and family.
watching over me as i go thru all the obstacles in life.
guiding me each time i asked.

Blogged @ 8:23 PM
always thinking -

Sunday, July 15, 2007

logged off abt 11+ ytd...
msn with LH and YC, as well as CH.
haha.
well...been really long since we chatted on msn as well.
we're all bz with our stuff, i suppose.
20 this yr.
all of us.
manz... we're leaving teens.
seriously.

darling, when will we break the ice again?
it's been long enough to cause the drift.
it's getting further, if we dont...
well...we're going to lose it.
haiz...

i guess i only slept at 12+ ytd.
some msg-es came in and was blinking.
but after a while, i couldnt see it blink anymore.
i thought well, it's late.
i should get some slp as well.
still... i checked my phone.
then i tried hard to go and slp.
i did after dunno wad hours.

woke up at 9+, late enough than usual morning, but early enough for my sunday.
sunday's a day full of vigor, full of time for me to think thru wad's done, wad's supposed to be done and all.
i wished i'm hanging out today again, at least my mind will be occupied and not sitting in front of screen playing.
haha.

well, sunday morning...
typical

Blogged @ 10:56 AM
always thinking -

Saturday, July 14, 2007

half a day of work.
haha. and then i'm off hanging out with my ex-classmates.
accidentally reached an hour in advance though.
but they were all so nice, came out earlier cuz i reached early.
haha. many thanks. lurve u peeps.

went lunch first and sweet Wee Fen booked lanes for us at OCC.
haha. many thanks. lucky she called... SAFRA was full, i heard.
bowling was o'rite.
3 games each, 4 of us.
thanks Wee Fen again for the treat.
was on performance for the first 2 games, highest for myself was 110.
pretty nice.
but 3rd game, well....
74. humph.

after that headed to starbucks, drink and talk.
been a long time as well.
so many stuff abt sec sch.
friends, class, teachers, crush, loves and all.
hahaha...

had neoprints with my girls as well...
sry, yc.
then went off to LJS for dinner.
thanks YC for dinner.
haha.

talked so much esp with CH, cuz girls talk.
and we share no secret.
as usual.
she knows everything now, even after so long.
haha... my loves, my secrets and all...

mickey, how?
=P

Thanks again, Wee Fen, Chio Hui and Yin Chun.
you guys made my day.
thanks again.
and yes, YC. thanks for the prezzie as well as the card.
haha.
the teddy's lovely.

and ytd.
well, my near average score, 98

then our triple 8 score plus hmmm... WF's strike.
we're thinking of hitting all 8 for the opening

might post the teddy and the neoprint when i get them into my cam. haha

Blogged @ 9:57 PM
always thinking -

Friday, July 13, 2007

went out early to work.
bosses nt in s'pore, i only realised tt after i made the call out.
anyway...
work still gotta be done, things still gotta get going.

mickey, it's weekends again.
you've taught me much.
mickey's a char which all kids love.
i'm one of them, from young till now.

learning to take things not for granted,
learning to fight for ur own rights,
learning to accept it if changes cant be made.
learning to love

i've read somewhere...
"the most romantic moments for couple must have been the time spent together.
quietly, but together."

Blogged @ 7:36 PM
always thinking -

Thursday, July 12, 2007

somehow, things arent so smooth yet.
i'm still considering...
if there's chance for me, i'm gone.
like the wind.
haha.

many complaining calls came in this morning...
was so f***-up.
but well, personal calls n smses came in while settling those "funny" stuff...
really ridiculous, that work.
so those sms and call made me feel better.
next week is coming fast...at least i hope, so i could go on my half day applied leave.
phew...wad a morning

then afternoon, freak again.
went out for a small meeting.
as usual, nth went right.

another reprimanding over the phone.
this time, i'm really upset.
cuz it is NOT my fault.
i did that to HELP ur f***ing company.
all i get is BLAMING.
thanks.

with work, without work, i suppose it's really time.

Blogged @ 8:32 PM
always thinking -

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

alright...
so i went out ytd after work.
hoping to see my dearest.
and goodness... i waited for quite some time, and i was upset initially.
almost threw up a fuss at him.
but i kept it under control, went to LJS, had my dinner alone while waiting.

and then he's done with his work...
tt's when i realised what i have thought previously is so selfish, i didnt think of what he is going thru.
his work must have sucks....
he's seldom so down...
oh well...gt back-stabbed by another man.

so hanged out playing bowling...since the movie timing was bad.
didnt score well but at least something for us to vent on.
work wasnt fine for me as well...
aint good.
---------------------
today's the same.
worse, perhaps.
overlooked sth, and yes another scolding again.
and yes, my fault yet again.
these days, i should be getting numb soon.

head back to office at noon, hoping things might get better.
but hell, no.
not more than 5 min i sat down, boss called.
gotta go out again after lunch.

and i wonder did i stepped on my colleague's shoe.
evil, the way he answered me when i was being nice, asking if he care for a lunch at that mo.
whatever la.
i had lunch myself for 30 mins, till my friends come and join me.
heehee, nice bunch of friends i have.

headed back after lunch,
sick...
got myself into another trouble.
what an idiot i was today.
arghz...

the only few good things that happens was i'm being entertained by friends.
my ex-classmate called me.
my ex-classmateS decides to meet up.
a few of them, goodness. nice.
and i gt home earlier today, cuz site is near.

i'm missing lots of things now

Blogged @ 7:37 PM
always thinking -

Monday, July 09, 2007

gt a scolding this morning.
well, my fault.
i didnt get work done up properly.
damn. me. k.

but things change for the better after some stuffs.
at least, i thought.
driving was also fine.

then, after class, things went downhill again.
darling couldnt meet me.
he's working n he's aint free.
no time left for me.
and another sms from my dear brother, Francis.
thanks.

it's awful, and my mood hasnt subside.
maybe tt's wad they called, pms.

cant be bothered now.
and psp left a tag for me, told me, i should consider a game over.

i cant play well.
not a good player, perhaps.
or maybe fate's not a game, at least not for me to play.
not for a girl who's turning only 20 this month, she couldnt juggle.
she cant do anything right.

silence, quietness and loneliness comes together.
they're awaiting me, arms stretched out.
wanting me to be close to them.
close enuff for a embrace.
shutting the door after me once i reach them.

you wait and see.
Joanna shall triumph, she wont be a let down.
she can be alone, all the way.
nth shall obstruct her.

Blogged @ 9:23 PM
always thinking -

Sunday, July 08, 2007

so weekends going gone again.
time flies.

was on the phone with darling just now.
been some time since i heard his voice as well as met him.
*sighs*
this is bad.
very serious.

and... again, after so long...
i sort of teared once again.
been some time since i went thru such emotions as well.
i cant help it.
i guess i miss him too much, at the same time...
lots of things running thru my mind at the mo.

perhaps, i should get someone to listen and talk to once again.
brother might be a good choice.
tomorrow, perhaps.
if given the time, and space.
i'd consider.
Sorry, Francis, gotta whine and complain once again.

mickey, pls be there for me again.
prepare me for tmr.
rantings, complaints, arrangements, works, driving.
*sighs*

Blogged @ 9:51 PM
always thinking -

it's sunday.
lovely. sweets.

but darling's off to work again.
weekends.

each msg sent and received intrigued a feeling.

Blogged @ 12:50 PM
always thinking -

Saturday, July 07, 2007

sweet.innocent.young.things

hmmm...i'm thinking...
it's weekends.
supposed to be time for me to rest or hang out.
i ened up sitting in front of my com.
mind fully occupied.

9.43pm
some thoughts to blog

Each move is different.
it's unique.
it's meant to be.
pre-planned as well.
makes it better.

came back, thinking.
typed it out and forget it, i will try.
it's weekends yet again.

Blogged @ 5:30 PM
always thinking -

i hate it.
i kept it silent.
i didnt say much, i know.

now, i'm thinking what's fate?
is fate a game?
for us to play, for us to handle or for us to believe in?

what's chemistry and coincidence?
can it be trained?
or perhaps, that is known as fate.

seems like i'm going thru a test.
life test.
test of patience, test of sensibility, test of stability, test of loyalty, test of friendship,
test of life.

i'm thinking...
maybe i was experimenting.
no, tt's not the right word to use...

anyway, i'm turning 20 soon.
oh my gawd...
there goes my teens in days.
i shall have to live it up, 19 for these few days.
cheerios to all

Blogged @ 4:04 PM
always thinking -

Friday, July 06, 2007

ytd was fine..
at the very least went to park a few times, used up some time for work.
haha.
thanks to clients having inspection.
haha.

didnt get to watch my transformer.
whined alot, i guess...
poor darling, though he say he dont mind, i wonder if i talked too much.

"i know my girlfriend, it's her character. "
"you always hit off well with males, to change ur character is impossible"
"but i trust you, completely."
"you will know your limits, always. you do."

and today...
well...
flunk once again..
my evaluation, maybe it's not meant to be...
i should go for my prac paper before failing another one again.
da**.
haizz...

anyway, thanks for everything, all concerns, all hoping i will pass...
=X

shant blog more than this, i guess...
anyway, it's still a pretty lovely day today though luck wasnt with me.

Blogged @ 9:35 PM
always thinking -

Wednesday, July 04, 2007

was blogging on my phone ytd
many thoughts.

first,

"one's nearly 4 months,
one's abt 2 months.

seemed like i've mixed in some personal feelings as well.
i wanna be fair but i ended up caught in the middle
neither here nor there

i chose to believe my 2 months, at the same time, i have to believe my 4 months.
it's freaking sickening.
well, maybe i should just talk to my beloved 27 months.

baby, oh do i need you.
those magic, will they last?
forever?
the guidance, will it stopped?
or perhaps had stopped."

momo, maybe u should send another angel down for me again...

and another one,

"maybe somehow, my character has sth to do with it.
my character isnt right.

somehow i'm acting everyday.
like putting on a mask and being another me.
is this the right way to work?
so that my personal self doesnt get involved?

part of it, i guess.
it's how i always dealed with male counterparts, i suppose.
it's normal...
eh isnt it?"

today was fine.
just fine.
couldnt complain, couldnt compare and shouldnt whine.
haha.

Blogged @ 8:02 PM
always thinking -

Tuesday, July 03, 2007

ok, rough start this morning...
in fact every morning.

was thinking thru'out the day.
i barely know one for 2 months plus.
the other, i barely knew for nearly 4 months.
each has their own say, each had their point.
i'm caught in the middle, unable to do anything.
and i'm not supposed to do anything.
any step i makes will cause some unneccessary prob.
i can only keep mum, pretend that i know nuts.

and today, driving.
smooth one.
in fact, instructor says very good.
haha.make me happy.
but well, i can only say this instructor is not a good one.
not bad, but not a good one either.
trying to pass the lesson only.
well...

brother want use com, better log out soon...
anyway, mickey went on leave again.
i'm bored.
no sparks, no magic.

Blogged @ 9:14 PM
always thinking -

Monday, July 02, 2007

let's talked abt ytd 1st.
it didnt rained when i was driving.
humph. didnt go according to what i wished and planned.
but i didnt stalled!!!
*grins*
hurray! finally gt tt hang.

well, went down to bugis after driving, hoping to be the best girl for my darling.
haha, he's working, and yes i waited for 2hrs plus.
heehee, for a girl who hates waiting, it's an achievement, ya?
=)

was out today in the morning, sites inspection i would say.
till noon time then i returned back to erm... cave
wasnt allowed to go for meeting, and i still wonder what's the reason now...
well let it be, xstitchx.

mickey's living in you.
it's magical, and nothing will take that away.

"did somebody tell you that talking to you is comfy?"
"no, they dont. though they might sense it too. i'm glad i make my friends' day"

btw, the more you wanna prevent sth from happenning, the moer it will happen
the more u wanna protect and keep me away, the more i wanna break thru.
too bad, that's me.
=)

Blogged @ 8:07 PM
always thinking -

Sunday, July 01, 2007

been abt 1 hr since i last blogged today.
hmmm...am still online.
ny brother's laughing at me, say "hey, it's going to rain and u'll be driving"
haha, well... i wonder how come he doesnt know i'm yearning to drive in the rain.

boring day for today, i suppose.
predicted.
my boy went working early in the morning.
manz, i miss him.

and mickey aint here with me either, left for his own disneyland on weekends i suppose.
my wonderland aint here now either.

let's see what land can i go to in the meantime...
driving...maybe fantasty island.
haha.
well. i'm bored. blogging is fun.

"reading your blog makes me understands you more,
it's like knowing what u're doing straight away"

Blogged @ 11:50 AM
always thinking -

early morning, received an sms.
yes, good morning.
=)
i love my phone.
and thanks for the flipping thru of papers for me.
heehee.

driving in the afternoon.
drizzling now, hurray!
haha, i havent drove in the rain before and today might have the chance.

tmr going to be another day...
long day.
humph...
i'm seriously thinking now.
even without any sending of appliations, can i last in this company?
i wont say the company is bad, it's not.
they did taught me sth, at the same time...
they hurt me too much, it's unbearable at times...
forcing me to take shelters, killed my feelings.

Blogged @ 10:45 AM
always thinking -